Fathers, Sons, & Silent Battles: Honoring the Good and Healing the Wounded
Father’s Day means many things to many people. But no matter how complicated it may feel, one thing remains true: The role of a father is one of the most important roles in the design of family.
We live in a world that tries to diminish fatherhood more and more. But today, I want to take a moment to speak to every father—biological or not—and declare God’s blessings and favor over you. May you not be measure by strength alone, but by your love and Godly character for the family God has entrusted to you.
To every father who had no father, but still chose to show up for your children—thank you for breaking generation cycles. To the men who desired fathers but were not able—may God heal and restore you. To the absent fathers who feel the weight of regret—may you find the courage to return, to forgive yourself, and to try again.
To fathers who are incarcerated—may you release the guilt you carry, and may your mind be freed; for God is a forgiving God. To spiritual fathers—may you withstand the persecution of the times and continue to shape the next generation of leaders. And to the men whose opportunity to father has been hindered by broken relationships and painful custody battles—I pray that every obstacle separating you from your children is torn down, and that love will conquer all. In Jesus name, Amen.
But, while we honor the fathers who are present and striving, we cannot ignore the silent battles others carry on this day.
For some, the father walked out, For others, the father stayed but was abusive. And for many, the father is physically present but emotionally absent—distant, cold, unavailable.
Most of these absentee fathers didn’t wake up one day and decide to abandon, abuse or neglect. Often, they carry wounds that were passed down to them—a toxic generational cycle that moves from one man to the next. That doesn’t excuse the pain, but it does reveal the pattern. Broken men often come from broken men.
Paul says in Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath…” In simple terms, fathers are warned not to:
Excessively criticize
Be harsh or controlling
Set unrealistic expectations
Abandon, ignore, or neglect
Manipulate or crush their children’s spirit
Because when that happens, something inside the child breaks.
They become bitter toward authority.
They shut down emotionally
They lose identity
They live discouraged.
They carry silent rage.
They grow up resentful.
And then the search begins.
Sons go looking for fathers in the streets, in gangs, in false brotherhoods.
Daughters go looking for fathers in broken men, abusive men, older men who prey on their need for validation.
Both are asking the same silent question:
“Was I ever enough to be loved?”